My spin on the recent Presidental Debate

I watched the debate tonight and was very impressed with both candidates. I am still going to vote for Obama because I have always been a democrat and I think although he is young and inexperienced I believe he has integrity that is needed desparately in this nation. The issues that were discussed were pertinent to what the next president is going to face in the upcoming year.

Our nation is in a financial crisis and it looks like the taxpayer will have pay for the administration's mistakes 

The war in Iraq might be successful but many lifes have been  lost and families devastated by this issue

I am a veteran and understand what is required-orders are given and they have to be followed in spite of whether you agree or not We wer considered "government property" and there is a certain amount of honor , camaderie and patriotism affliated with serving your country. But based on the length of this war and the cost of it, America has suffered and it will take at least two terms to even begin to put a dent in the trillion dollar deficit that has been manufactured by the war combined with bad decisions and strategies.

No matter if Obama is inexperience and young -change needs to be made or we are going to implode as a society and a nation 

John McCain is very experienced in foriegn and military issues and that was implemented strongly in his debate to tear down Obama's rhetoric. 

Overall I think it was a powerful debate and they both were confident in their delivery in answering the facilatators questions 

Any one care to comment on this feel free

Comtemplating

I am contemplating going back to school on Oct 5 I believe and I have not got the books yet -I will get on it since this is approaching the end of the month

I am contemplating whether I will keep my job at the VA Hospital as a patient escort -it does not pay much but it has kept my mind occupied -We know all about idle minds and what they lead to.

In my case it can be detrimental to my physical , emotional and spiritual state of mind 

I am wondering what to do about my situation with my dad  and his knowledge of what my biological mom was like and why my blood relatives never wanted to meet me or know about any of my brothers . Truly mysterious to say the least . 

I am anxious to get back to exercising like I did when I was working full time with emotionally disturbed kids . I was going to the gym at least 5days a week. now I am working out with a incomplete set of dumbbells with a exercise wheel at home. Quite a change but I know God has a plan for me and I have be patient and wait for the subtle but very vivid signs that will guide me where I need to be. 

Until next time

Kirk

I am done!

As of this writing I am done with my radiation treatements for my prostate cancer-it lasted a total of 45 days 5 days a week- I am so done literally - the radiation caused inside bruising as described by my oncologist within my bladder and the rest of my reproductive organs and it caused tremendous amounts of pain and pressure. Without getting to the R-rated version it was painful when using these organs to do what everyday people do on a daily basis. So it if you know what I mean then I will move on. 

I did get a Certificate of Completion with all my doctors' names of it . Quite a interesting event for me. I am still in the process of returning to my online courses to complete my Master's in Information Technology.

I have to get another loan from the goverment since my former loan company is now defunct.  So I am in the middle of completing another one. I am also working at the VA Hospital here in Cleveland Ohio as a patient escort. It is filling a void right now since I temporarily stopped taking classes. So the question remains if I can do both ,although the job does not pay much it occupies my mind in the best way. I am wondering if I will be able to do both (the job and my online courses) Time will tell.

And of course I still am thinking about the other projects that were put on hold since my diagnosis ( finding my biological mother and finding a specific suicide survivor group in my area to talk about my issues regarding the death of a close friend from sucide in 2003 and also beginning to grieve the death of my mom in 2005. 

I believe God is going to guide in the right direction at the right time. I must remember and review the Serenity Prayer which is posted in my apartment for just that purpose.

My workouts will be included so that now I can work on the outside of my body as well as the inside Time will tell.

I congratulate myself for my recent accomplishment and will have to keep my past ones in mind to enrich my self esteem. 

With that said 
I remain until next time

Kirk

My update of my cancer treatments

Hello all
I am in my, I believe, 5th or 6th week of radiation therapy.
And boy has it been a humdinger- I have had tremendous amount of pain when I go to the bathroom (side effects from the treatments) 
I am anxious for this process to end which I thought was maybe on the 5th of September but due to the machine breaking down and my temporarily ceasing the treatments because of a freaky side effect that landed me in the emergency room for a total of 5 hours. It really scared me since the pain was of a more severe nature. So I told the nurse that I would not be back until I talked to a doctor and got reassured that is was a side effect and nothing more serious. So I didn't see a doctor for two days since my oncologist was on vacation and I saw another doctor instead and it was all good when I talked with him. It was a bad case of gas I was lead to believe. I wont go into much detail about the conversation but it was enough that someone cared to address this issue since I was afraid -they never had a case such as mine with the side effect that I experienced. They seemed nonchalant and even joking about it which angered me -just a matter of principle and not showing the professionalism that was expected out of the nurses that shrugged it off. So it is all good now in spite of the extra week that was added to my finished treatments -the pain has subsided some except when I have sex that is still painful Yikes -In reality I am humbled and blessed by god since I know there are many more serious cases of cancer world wide and I see and hear and talk to veterans who are in life threatening experiences with their health - I now work at a VA Hospital here in Cleveland Ohio and it is a lesson in itself and tremendously saddening to hear their stories of how they ended up in the VA Hospital. 
That is my update 
Until next time and feel free to comment or suggest here or thru my email kftrainer@gmail.com

Reflection of the last month Part II

I am continuing to tell my story that I was starting earlier about my past month activities 

I am allowing my father to re-enter my life and I am tremendously cautious from past events that warranted my cautiousness. I will not go into details because it is very complex and somewhat convoluted. So I will leave it at that. I did get a call from him today regarding my letter that I wrote to him three weeks ago -He commented on my directness in telling how I felt about him and catching him up on my life as it happened 10 years ago up to the present. It is outlined in my prior posts which I will probably sent to him later. He gave me his new address where he is moving to and when I can contact him. I dont how I should feel about this but I will just let things play out and not worry. I am glad he called to let me know about his feelings concerning my letter. I wanted to hear this from him. But time will tell and I will know how he really feels then. 

On a lighter note I went to an open air market here in Cleveland Ohio  with some friends and spent some time browsing through and buying fruits and snacks and eating bratwurst sandwiches. Then went to a dinner with my significant other with another friend of ours for his birthday. I am truly blessed as I think about all the positive people in my life and how well I am supported on all levels through my journey to get a peace of mind. I am going to make it with their help. 

Until next time

Kirk 

Reflections of the past month

I am sorry I have not updated since the 22th of July, boy time does fly and not always when you are having fun. I am kidding somewhat. Every experience teaches you something to reflect on at a later date and help connect the dots. 

I have just had a month anniversary for my radiation treatments for prostate cancer- I am feeling ok but having side effects from the radiation that affects my ability to effectively go to the bathroom. I talked about the side effects with my doctor and he reassured me that it was normal and after the treatments it will subside. Boy Sept 5th hurry up Yikes . It is painful and he has dosed me with pills and fiber to help with those issues. I do get reminded how severe my disease can be if not treated properly. So I am not minimizing my situation but not blowing it out of proportion . I like to keep things in life at a balance-Good luck with that huh! 

I also have started a job at the VA Hospital where I am recieving treatment -it works out great for me since I am work from 8 to 4 and then at 5pm I go to the my treatment for another 15 mins and I am done for the day - I have to tell you that I am excited about working but need to be readjusted to working with people after 4 years of being unemployed. 

The job is not a high paying one and it seems to be a haven for veterans that are going through recovery from alcoholism and drug user. I am in recovery from grieving loved ones that passed on and now struggling with the feelings having this cancer and it impact on my state of mind which is still in healing phase. 

I am going to close temporarily to go on a needed walk to clear my head -My roommate suggested it and I am reluctantly going to go since it will be good for my recovery Right!

Until later on today 

My story will continue -Believe me I have a lot to say since my last entry .

Kirk

Facebook Prank: Why I Suddenly Started Attracting Gay Men

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