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My first Mac

On Feburary 8 I purchased a Macbook Pro laptop and it was long time overdue . I did my research on buying the Mac due to the frustration I was having with my PC (Compaq Presario Laptop) now 7 years old and fading fast. So I decided that it became more of a necessity than a luxury to have a new computer. My rationalization came from my status as a online Master's student at Capella  Univeristy . So I am excited and finally picked out one that I liked and would have the features that I desire. I needed  a faster and more reliable computer just for school work and my email and general internet surfing. 

I purchased it at a Apple Store and bought it home and it worked fine for three days and then suddenly it went to sleep and never came out of sleep so I "cold booted" it I will update you more maybe tomorrow on my Macintosh story

Year of Renewal

With the beginning of a year of layoffs ,mergers and economic and financial crises,

we needed a change and we are at the beginning of that era where I think it will be a slow but deliberate one I have had a rocky year due to being diagnosed with prostate cancer in March of last year -another wake up call to remind me how precious life is . I am learning more about myself as I get older . I have been unemployed for at least 5 years but been busy with school online.

I decided to take a break when I got the above diagnosis to deal physically and mentally with this new challenge

I am elated and embracing our new African American president Barack Obama -I am confident he will slowly but surely bring us out of this deep black hole the country is in. I am concerned it is going to get worse before it get better. So I have been told. I just have to monitor closely the progress the our new president is making in his first 100 days in office. He is not wasting any time with crucial issues and I am sure he will address everything that he mentioned in his campaign for the presidency. Patience is going to be something society will have to depend on since we are in a deep recession.

There will opinions from all sorts of people including the media on what should be done based on their idea of what is a priority. And that is normal. No one person or group in this world we live in will be satisfied totally with how government is handling certain issues. It is a fact of life in this century. That is why we have the power of voting -use the power that you have as a citizen to make a change.

A wave will settle down on the believers and non-believers that this change will be the best thing that has happened to this country and our international allies. Lots of work to be done.

On a personal note I am back in school and did pass my fall class which was for the second time around and in the middle of another one that I had to take again. A real difficult one but I have a jump start since the curriculum and textbooks are the same as last year when I took it.

My personal health is OK I am taking medications for various things which I wont divulge at this time. I am concentrating more on my health since I have gotten older,hence the diagnosis of cancer in March. My laid back attitude sometimes gets the best of me since I don't overtly show my emotions . They are automatically shifted to a safe space in my psyche for my own protection and I deal with it as I need to. Luckily I have time to set aside to deal with those issues -And I am appreciative of this time.

I have been working since I was 18 and never gave myself anytime to ponder personal issues. grieve tragic losses in my life and work on myself,emotionally ,physically and spiritually. Now I have the time and it is productive since I feel I am a much stronger person.

I am working out more at my home and at my local gym -not to the extent that I want but I know I will eventually get that level of satisfaction that I use to feel once I accomplished my goals whatever they maybe.

This my blog for the new year I will try to update this more but I am and will be busy trying to complete my master studies -so bear with me

Until next time

Captain Kirk

Looking Forward

This is turning out to be a great year -I am better this year than I have been in the previous ones

I think I might be getting closer to attaining that peace of mind that I have longed for since 2003 when everything in my life at that time unraveled . If you have been following my blogs inconsistent as they maybe ,you will know what I am refering to. I am not saying that there wont be more challenges but I do wonder if it would be better to know for the sake of preparation and bracing for the consequences from my actions and reactions Yeah I know it is psychobabble forgive me.

This year has not had any big surprising events that I can speak of . I am getting the hang of how my 5 year computer works even better than before. It could be that I spend more time online with checking and responding to my email and going to school online. My Masters will be in Information Technology which I will get from Capella University -I have at least another year to go due to failing two classes last year about this time I just finished one last month and recieved a A and now the current one willl be challenging but I know I can do it.

My family and friends have been fair,supportive and understanding that is why I know that I have had guardian angels with me since I was born. I have developed a beautiful relationship with my brother since my Mom died in 2005 and I have yet to grieve her death.

Life does suck in that you have to watch your Mom and Dad get old and eventually pass on. This is what makes us who we are today. I think if more people realized and acknowlegded this earlier in life it would be more simple? Yeah right.

As far as getting back in shape it is coming slowly but surely I am seeing my musculature coming back although I need to get rid of my spare tire I am glad to be back on track . It will be a slow crawl for me I am pacing myself and thinking long and hard about my future maybe in the next five years.

The economy doesnt have that much impact on me since I was unemployed long before it got this bad . I lost my source of transporation in 2003 so I did not get affected by the high gas prices. I depend on public transportation most of the time unless I get a ride by someone. I am not a person to ask for help unless I am in dire need of it.

The frigid temperatures has hindered my drive even more than before -challenging my low state of motivation. Inconsistency seems to be my middle name. It has been a issue in my life ever since I started working. I found out later it was from depression that has been repressed for as long as I can remember. Behavioral and cognitive therapy has been also a part of my recovery -without it I think things would be drastically different.

I will end there and let this simmer

Until next time
The Captain

My night out

My night out last night was special -I went to a Holiday festival  which involves museums and some organizations dealing with arts and music -Although it was bone chilling cold I enjoyed myself and then I went to dinner and had a Hungarian dish (chicken papakrish(Sp) at a Hungarian restaurant with friends 

It was nice to do this since I always get very anxious when it deals with social functions. I lighten the load by taking some prescribed anti-anxiety pills -it helps a lot. 

I think things are getting better for me- I am feeling better overall, I have started back working out at the gym that I am a member of. I have been going on an avg. 4 days a week which is good considering where I was a year ago. Looking to Christmas and the new year. -especially the January 20th inauguration of Barack Obama. 

This is a short but significant post -I will try to keep one going everyday 

Trial and error.

Until next time

Kirk

My life thus far -Dec 5,2008

It has been a month since I last wrote. I am not sure if people are reading my blogs. I guess I should be more vigilant with keeping track and making sure that people are reading it .

Anyway I am going to try to transfer my blog to Facebook and see if I get any feedback.

 

So here is my update I am finally getting back into my old workout routine I joined up for two months at  a local gym on October 28 and it  will expire on the 28th of Dec -I do see some changes and I am feeling them as well. I am taking things day by day  and hope I can keep up the good work I am doing . It does feel good to work out and then additionally  see the fruits of my labor.

I am still a little chunkier than I want to be but it is a work in progress - I had hernia surgery in 2003 and I think it is affecting how I lose the weight around my midsection. I will increase my cardio on an incremental basis since yesterday was a trial and error situation . I did 15 min on the treadmill and 5 brutal min. on the step machine. Boy am I out of shape. 

My eating habits will have to change since I have become very lax in that area. I have been working out since 1984 consistently until 2002 when things started to fall apart for me emotionally and physically .

I know that challenges such as these come and are meant to be a lesson learned if you survive. 

It does make you a more cynical person. You have a different outlook on life when tragedy strikes.

Like I stated in my other blogs I have been blessed and I think destined for something much greater 

I just was contacted by a college buddy who was very generous and helpful when I was getting ready for a show back when I was in college in addition to be a true friend. That in itself is not a coincidence. I dont believe there are any coincidences in life . Everything happens for a reason. 

So this is it for now 

I will continue on this road and see where it may lead. 

Wish me luck

Kirk

Back in the saddle

Hello all 

I am writing this on a good note of course -On the last week of October I rejoined my gym and started back bodybuilding -I felt a new enthusiasm this time around -very much different from my last attempt to go back and back and back LOL -it was not working at all -last consistent workout was in January 

Since  then I have been doing workouts in my apartment with my exercise wheel and my incomplete set of dumbbells -not!

I hope this feeling stays -renewing motivation to get back in shape -A friend of mine is going to take some pictures of my progress when I am ready.

I do plan on getting a digital camera and maybe a new computer -I am in the process of getting my financial aid finalized  so we will see what happens . I am sore from my workouts thus far and that is normal -I like the progress I am seeing. I think it is time 

Until next time 

Kirk