Another wake up call

Hello all in cyberspace.

Here is another event that again changed my life , the day is Tues. the 19th of May that I speak of . I was excited about getting a new office chair and nothing really gave me any indication that my day would create another milestone on my journey thru life.

My old chair was great but very old and starting to wear to where I was seeing metal thorough the once-scotchgarded fabric. Of course the day was beautiful in the 70's I believe. Perfect day. I went to a warehouse that sold thousands of office chairs at prices that ranged from 30.00 to 700.00. I never thought a chair would be worth 700.00 but this is America right .

So after I bought the chair, it was loaded in the back seat of my friends car which was a 4-door sedan. I sat in the back seat with my new chair, eager to test it out at home. Then I guess about 5 minutes into the journey back home we were hit broadside by a vehicle. I do remember my driver swerving to avoid something and it hit us and shook the car with a horrific jolt. I was not knocked out but was in shock since it happened so fast and as I became aware of what happened my jaw started to hurt from the chair which hit me in the jaw as I later found out.

And the chair did sustain some damage. The impact broke one of the arm rests and bent the lower part of the other arm. To make a long story short . 911 was called by myself and checked on both of my passengers who were ok although we have lasting bruises that are irritating which is great since it could have been a lot worse based on the condition of the car after the accident.

I cannot comment on the conditions of the passengers although two of us went to the hospital to be treated and released later that day. Just to say that we are lucky the injuries were not more severe. I have jaw pain which involves taking a pain pill every 6 hours. This happens as Memorial Day Weekend is upon us.

Another blessing as I reflect upon this event. The message is there to enjoy the life you have whether it is not going as you think it should.

Until next time

Kirk

My Journey continues

I can honestly say I am on the road to recovery-I am feeling so much better after the tragic events that took place 4-5 years ago . It is a memory but not painful. Anniversaries are hard but they happened and remain with me for a reason. This I believe is to learn life's lessons and become a stronger person physically ,emotionally and spiritually My spirituality is something so abstract as well as my emotions. But emotions create certain reactions both conscious and unconscious. I have learned thru therapy to control how I react to certain things that trigger strong emotions like losing loved ones, being uncertain about my identity and my future. It is scary and challenging to my psyche. Spirituality seems to be such an intangible entity but I know I have obtained all the tools from therapy to enhance my thinking about what that means and how it will affect my life from here on in.

I debate with myself with regard to what I did and where I was in my "former life" I was a working and law abiding man who was somewhat content with his life at that time. I had a car that I was barely able to afford and I was living with a person who was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder-in laymen's terms he was clinically depressed. I dealt with the challenges that my choices created . I am that type of person that will take on a challenge that is handed to me, but will never impose that upon myself . Who will wantonly do that? Who will self-impose that kind of torture. Is it sadistic ? Is it neurotic. That is the mystery of how the human mind works.

It is fascinating to discover those things about myself and embrace them. I have had a lot of time on my hands since I am in school and not employed. My health is ok and as I get older (my birthday was May 14sedentary-My) I realize what my parents used to tell me about getting older

I am trying to get back in decent shape since I have became more sedentary-My motivation needs a tune up and it has to come from the inside. I can get all the outside positive reinforcement from my family and friends but I have to convince myself that it is the best thing to do. That darn anxiety that affects us all in one way or another seems to be my crutch along with my stubbornness that kills my motivation to almost zero.

Needless to say it is my biggest challenge to date. Most people that I tell this story to are either inspired or saddened or both . This is the walk I walk and I am talking about the experiences that have formed who I am as a human being.

My journey is not finished as we all will come to realize. I may be further along than some people in my age group but I had a lot of time to work on it.

Until next time

Kirk

Reflection

Hey all my readers I am 48 as of this date my birth what a year I had. Interesting to say the least.

I had the" C "word scare cancer of the prostrate, was diagnosed on March 17 I. St patty's day

I had the biggest shock of my life when I was told this life change . It took awhile for it to sink in after he told me. I tend to minimize things for the sake of my state of mind. I have learned to repress my emotions for a better time to express them. Yeah that is smart.

Listen I am so very blessed to have the life I have now.

I am in a great relationship with my family and my friends. They have been there for me when I needed them. If you have read some of my blogs I have had a few rocky years but survived with some scars but no devastating wounds. I feel I am a stronger person because of this.

My health status is better but not where I want it to be. I am getting back on that fitness bandwagon slowly but surely. Lost some weight by observation and the way I feel body wise

The scales says something different even if I subtract 5 lbs for clothes. 172 lb. at 5'4 is over weight based on my BMI measurement. I am more muscular from doing home exercises(calisthenics) and using the Ab wheel. I am going to up the intensity by trying to do something everyday. I want to go back to my gym but it is a financial problem since I am an unemployed Master's Student. I do receive a refund check every three months based on when I take the class. Anyhow I am on the comeback trail Root for me and I will be feeling the vibes through Cyberspace.

I am becoming a twitter addict. At first I did not care for it now I am watching the feeds constantly it is very addictive as well as Face book. I dont access Face book that much since my tweets end up in my newsfeed on Face book. I am not sure I like this but I have to watch my banter and words since it is transferred over to my Face book account.

I have become a writer of my life accounts and how they tie in into one's life. I have been given the opportunity to write for an online ezine called MobileLIfeToday www.mobilelifetoday.com

One article concentrated on my Prostate Cancer scare and how I dealt with that and then I became passionate about men focusing on getting tested since I dodged a bullet — they caught it in its early stages. And if it was not for the rectal exam and the blood test I would be still carrying this silent killer which strikes men over 40 and it is concentrated in the African American culture. It is a slow growing cancer and usually it is asymptomatic until one is in his 60 or 70's and some research shows that it then becomes symptomatic , unfortunately it may have spread to other organs. This is motivation for writing the article.

I know I am being protected by guardian angels and guided in the right direction that will enhance my quantity of life for years to come.

I will be embarking on job searches and career preparation in the coming months since my anticipated date of graduation is December of this year. Wish me luck on this journey.

Until next time

Kirk

My Quiet Respite

Hello all I am sorry I have not written on my blog for awhile-Life sort of gets in the way of that.

I am still in school finishing up my classes for a Master's in Information Technology. I am still amazed on how I am progressing in many areas of my life. Months come and go as well as those anniversaries that were significant in my recovery,for example my mom and best friend 's passing which was very hard on my mind ,body and spirit.

My prostate cancer event was the most current challenge I had to face and due to my ability to minimize the shock of having cancer it sparked an aggressive or more assertive quality that I did not know I had. To make a long story short I was diagnosed March 17,2008, started radiation treatments in July and finished my treatments in September-A total of 54 days every weekday. So at this time it is a little over a year since my diagnosis. I have been going to most of my scheduled appts. for other health issues that I have and focus on my life going forward. This is my period of quiet respite-brand new year with a whole new set of challenges

Until next time

Kirk

St Patty Anniversary

Hey all

This is a very significant anniversary for me since on this date last year i was diagnosed with Prostate Cancer and now I am unofficially in remission.

Captain Kirk's Mac experience

A twitter follower has a ezine that I am interested in and after I made the statement that there was no men's articles at all on anything . He mentioned to me to submit an article on men's issues by the 23rd of this month. So I am brainstorming on what to write about.

I am finishing up my class for this quarter and I will have time (about a week) to think about a topic and write up to 500 words on a subject that involves some pertinent men issues.

I think I got one off the top of my head and I will not reveal it yet since I am apt to change my mind,so I will keep it a "secret". I am kind of pumped about it. My first piece of published work-no big deal right.

I am becoming more familiar with my new Mac book Pro and I am still in love with my new toy

I learning more about the machine and how it works in reference to Windows PC . I still have my PC for basic files and I am still trying to get all of my important files onto my Mac. I am being somewhat cautious based on my first experience with my New Mac which happened on the 8th of February.

I went to the Apple Store here in Cleveland and I got a very different feel walking in there.

There seems to be a sort of camaraderie there and to add when I bought it I was congratulated when I told them that this computer was my very first. They were very polite in asking me if I minded if they went through the routine which I think they do for all first time Mac users and buyers. Truly a nice feeling. I guess that for the price you pay for their products they should provide a little moral support along with any technical help that may come up highly unlikely right?

Well I bought it for 2k and took it home and it developed problems after the third day I had it

and then I bought it back for them to tell me after they looked at it, that it was a hardware issue.

I wont go into details but it was inoperable after the problems developed. They allegedly fixed it and I took it back home only to have the problem repeat itself which of course gave me anxiety based on what I went thru with my 7 year old Compaq laptop. I did take it back and after talking with the reps there I was presented with a new model and was again a satisfied customer and to this day I am happy with it. I am connecting to a lot of Mac users and watching mac tutorials on the Apple site and other various sites including mac forums and you tube videos on different things I could do on my Mac book and with the operating system which is Macosx Leopard 10.5-

And as I write this Apple is working on their new OS upgrade Snow Leopard 10.6 which I probably wont get since it is not free.

That is all I can think of right now

So until next time

Kirk

Notes from a Mac Newbie

Hello all

I am still testing my new Mac and it is working great I am still a little taken back about what it can do. I have been reviewing a lot of Youtube Mac tutorials and even set up a google alert to notify me by email when anything about my Macbook Pro comes available from any news source or blog. I am guess I am somewhat happy since I am not as frustrated as I was when I had my PC.

It was old (7 years old) and starting to show the BSOD (Blue Screen of Death)which was a little too much for my taste. I have to admit I did contribute to the problem by downloading tons of unneeded software. And for your tech geeks out there you know what happens to a PC 's stability when that scenario materializes and besides my Compaq Presario was running a Mac emulator (basically hacked system files to emulate a Mac's appearance and some functions.) It compromised my memory which had a mere 256mb capacity with a hard disk capacity of 20 gb .

Wow such a weird thing to see and hear especially since I got this new mac which has 2 gb of memory with a disk capacity of 256 gb . Quite a difference huh!

I will keep this updated as new things happen in my life as a new Mac user.

Until next time

KIrk