Year of Renewal

With the beginning of a year of layoffs ,mergers and economic and financial crises,

we needed a change and we are at the beginning of that era where I think it will be a slow but deliberate one I have had a rocky year due to being diagnosed with prostate cancer in March of last year -another wake up call to remind me how precious life is . I am learning more about myself as I get older . I have been unemployed for at least 5 years but been busy with school online.

I decided to take a break when I got the above diagnosis to deal physically and mentally with this new challenge

I am elated and embracing our new African American president Barack Obama -I am confident he will slowly but surely bring us out of this deep black hole the country is in. I am concerned it is going to get worse before it get better. So I have been told. I just have to monitor closely the progress the our new president is making in his first 100 days in office. He is not wasting any time with crucial issues and I am sure he will address everything that he mentioned in his campaign for the presidency. Patience is going to be something society will have to depend on since we are in a deep recession.

There will opinions from all sorts of people including the media on what should be done based on their idea of what is a priority. And that is normal. No one person or group in this world we live in will be satisfied totally with how government is handling certain issues. It is a fact of life in this century. That is why we have the power of voting -use the power that you have as a citizen to make a change.

A wave will settle down on the believers and non-believers that this change will be the best thing that has happened to this country and our international allies. Lots of work to be done.

On a personal note I am back in school and did pass my fall class which was for the second time around and in the middle of another one that I had to take again. A real difficult one but I have a jump start since the curriculum and textbooks are the same as last year when I took it.

My personal health is OK I am taking medications for various things which I wont divulge at this time. I am concentrating more on my health since I have gotten older,hence the diagnosis of cancer in March. My laid back attitude sometimes gets the best of me since I don't overtly show my emotions . They are automatically shifted to a safe space in my psyche for my own protection and I deal with it as I need to. Luckily I have time to set aside to deal with those issues -And I am appreciative of this time.

I have been working since I was 18 and never gave myself anytime to ponder personal issues. grieve tragic losses in my life and work on myself,emotionally ,physically and spiritually. Now I have the time and it is productive since I feel I am a much stronger person.

I am working out more at my home and at my local gym -not to the extent that I want but I know I will eventually get that level of satisfaction that I use to feel once I accomplished my goals whatever they maybe.

This my blog for the new year I will try to update this more but I am and will be busy trying to complete my master studies -so bear with me

Until next time

Captain Kirk

Looking Forward

This is turning out to be a great year -I am better this year than I have been in the previous ones

I think I might be getting closer to attaining that peace of mind that I have longed for since 2003 when everything in my life at that time unraveled . If you have been following my blogs inconsistent as they maybe ,you will know what I am refering to. I am not saying that there wont be more challenges but I do wonder if it would be better to know for the sake of preparation and bracing for the consequences from my actions and reactions Yeah I know it is psychobabble forgive me.

This year has not had any big surprising events that I can speak of . I am getting the hang of how my 5 year computer works even better than before. It could be that I spend more time online with checking and responding to my email and going to school online. My Masters will be in Information Technology which I will get from Capella University -I have at least another year to go due to failing two classes last year about this time I just finished one last month and recieved a A and now the current one willl be challenging but I know I can do it.

My family and friends have been fair,supportive and understanding that is why I know that I have had guardian angels with me since I was born. I have developed a beautiful relationship with my brother since my Mom died in 2005 and I have yet to grieve her death.

Life does suck in that you have to watch your Mom and Dad get old and eventually pass on. This is what makes us who we are today. I think if more people realized and acknowlegded this earlier in life it would be more simple? Yeah right.

As far as getting back in shape it is coming slowly but surely I am seeing my musculature coming back although I need to get rid of my spare tire I am glad to be back on track . It will be a slow crawl for me I am pacing myself and thinking long and hard about my future maybe in the next five years.

The economy doesnt have that much impact on me since I was unemployed long before it got this bad . I lost my source of transporation in 2003 so I did not get affected by the high gas prices. I depend on public transportation most of the time unless I get a ride by someone. I am not a person to ask for help unless I am in dire need of it.

The frigid temperatures has hindered my drive even more than before -challenging my low state of motivation. Inconsistency seems to be my middle name. It has been a issue in my life ever since I started working. I found out later it was from depression that has been repressed for as long as I can remember. Behavioral and cognitive therapy has been also a part of my recovery -without it I think things would be drastically different.

I will end there and let this simmer

Until next time
The Captain