Sunday, January 18, 2009

Looking Forward

This is turning out to be a great year -I am better this year than I have been in the previous ones
I think I might be getting closer to attaining that peace of mind that I have longed for since 2003 when everything in my life at that time unraveled . If you have been following my blogs inconsistent as they maybe ,you will know what I am refering to. I am not saying that there wont be more challenges but I do wonder if it would be better to know for the sake of preparation and bracing for the consequences from my actions and reactions Yeah I know it is psychobabble forgive me.
This year has not had any big surprising events that I can speak of . I am getting the hang of how my 5 year computer works even better than before. It could be that I spend more time online with checking and responding to my email and going to school online. My Masters will be in Information Technology which I will get from Capella University -I have at least another year to go due to failing two classes last year about this time I just finished one last month and recieved a A and now the current one willl be challenging but I know I can do it.
My family and friends have been fair,supportive and understanding that is why I know that I have had guardian angels with me since I was born. I have developed a beautiful relationship with my brother since my Mom died in 2005 and I have yet to grieve her death.
Life does suck in that you have to watch your Mom and Dad get old and eventually pass on. This is what makes us who we are today. I think if more people realized and acknowlegded this earlier in life it would be more simple? Yeah right.
As far as getting back in shape it is coming slowly but surely I am seeing my musculature coming back although I need to get rid of my spare tire I am glad to be back on track . It will be a slow crawl for me I am pacing myself and thinking long and hard about my future maybe in the next five years.
The economy doesnt have that much impact on me since I was unemployed long before it got this bad . I lost my source of transporation in 2003 so I did not get affected by the high gas prices. I depend on public transportation most of the time unless I get a ride by someone. I am not a person to ask for help unless I am in dire need of it.
The frigid temperatures has hindered my drive even more than before -challenging my low state of motivation. Inconsistency seems to be my middle name. It has been a issue in my life ever since I started working. I found out later it was from depression that has been repressed for as long as I can remember. Behavioral and cognitive therapy has been also a part of my recovery -without it I think things would be drastically different.
I will end there and let this simmer
Until next time
The Captain

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