Monday, March 31, 2008

I am in a quandary

Hello all
I am in a quandary on what to do about the direction my life is taking since I got this diagnosis of prostate cancer. It is not in an aggressive stage nor is it an aggressive cancer. Based on my research of this disease it is usually caught early if the man gets the complete test including a rectal exam. My tumor as stated by the oncologist is very small and almost undetectable and it the midst of this I am still in college and had to get an extension on my final paper -I have not yet finished it based on the many emotions I am going through since St Patty Day when I was told by the urologist. Since my mind is concentrated on my mortality and how my life is changing since I got this diagnosis.my schoolwork is suffering. To date the paper is still unfinished. the instructor said I can obtain a Incomplete based on my situation. So I will need to finish the paper and turn it in if it is not too late. I need to really decide if I am going to register for another class. This diagnosis gives me a reality check on how I am living my life and how I will continue to live my life.
It is funny I feel I am now in another select group of sufferers that I would rather not be in.
but that is life and it constant changes so suck up right ? Not!
I am seeing some changes with my body image since I have been exercising in my home and walking at the Day Hospital and to and from the bus stop. The last 4 weeks have been exhilarating and exciting based on the structure of this program I did sign up for another week based on recent events and dealing with past ones -death and dying is the theme here and the repercussions  from it.

I will not get so philosophical but that Is how I look at life and philosophy has always been a interest to me since college. I am so blessed that I have a solid support system from my family and friends esp recently. I need to reiterate to myself on how precious and fragile my life is and I need to take care of myself mentally and physically and try to obtain that peace of mind that we all reach for
Until next time

Kirk
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